Like many wives I spend most of my days picking up after my husband, packing things for him so he doesn’t forget and constantly reminding him of things throughout the day and fussing over him. At the beginning of our marriage it would annoy and frustrate me that I had to do this, I felt like I had 2 children at times, Lol. But our Lord in his grace continued to teach me to change my heart posture towards these tasks that I considered menial to remind me that this is what I am called to do as a wife, to serve and honour my husband.
A lie that the enemy has convinced us of in this day and age is that we are to stand up for ourselves even as wives against our husbands. He has convinced us that it is our role as wives to nag our husbands without regard to how it may affect them and be in constant conflict with them. There is even a quote “Happy wife, Happy life”. This somewhat tells us that as wives we determine the mood in our homes, if we are upset or on in foul mood then everyone at home is. We have accepted this because it’s something that is so entrenched into today’s society. This is a lie fed to us by the enemy to dismantle our marriages and pit us against our spouses. Why you may ask? It is because a marriage is the one relationship that is ordained by God and the enemy knows this. Once he attacks a marriage the family follows suit. Why do you think there are so many marriage casualties now days? it’s because of this very reason. As wives we are gatekeepers for our family making sure that none of the enemies schemes succeed.
The bible tells us in Proverbs 27 15:16 “A nagging wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm. Stopping her is like trying to stop the wind. It’s like trying to grab olive oil with your hand”. It basically tells us that it is impossible to stop a woman once she starts nagging. Proverbs 21:9 tells us “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife”. I have been convicted time and time again by the holy spirit on this point and I have discovered I achieve much more when I choose grace when dealing with husband.
I have been taught what an honour it is to have my husband, to have someone who honors God with every fibre of his being, someone who continues to lead me God by his actions and his love for me. It is only when the holy spirit began to minister to me and remind me of my vows and illustrations in the Bible of what is expected of a wife did I realize what a joy it is to serve my husband.
I know there are instances where our husbands make it very difficult for us to serve them with love. However, 1 Peter 3: 1-2 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct”. We are reassured here that even when they make it difficult we will only win them over more with our pure and respectful conducts. We are not called to repay their schemes with evil schemes of our own but to continue to serve them with a loving heart. 1 Coronthians: 13:5 sums love up well “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs”. How we love to be easily angered and keep a record of wrongs as women but this is not the standard we are called to as wives.
Titus 2: 4-5 tells us “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God”. We are therefore called to be self-controlled and kind to our husbands and children. It is quite easy when we are exhausted to be ruled by our emotions and take it out on our husbands and children. However, we must never give in to this scheme of the enemy and pray for the holy spirit to guard our hearts and give us grace and patience because God does not give us more than we can handle.
What an honour it is to be called to be a wife to serve and love your husband and children, to create a home, to be good stewards to what God has blessed us with. I recall one instance when I had reminded my husband to take out the trash and he forgot because we had rushed to work that morning, before I reacted harshly I was convicted not to be like the Israelites who were led into the promise land but constantly complained about everything. They were days when I cried to God wondering why my waiting season took so long prior to meeting my husband. When I finally met him he was beyond anything I ever imagined because God always gives us the best. I decided that I didn’t want to be like the Israelites and be ungrateful once I received the blessing. Make no mistake they are times when I am just like the complaining Israelites but I continue thank God for his grace and counsel that continues to change how I view my husband.
Let us be alert and not convinced by standards of this world of how we should be as wives but continuously look to God for guidance and counsel. I watched a video the other day of a wife saying that she would rather pick up dirty clothes and shoes off the floor everyday of her life rather than never seeing her husband walk through their front door ever again. This resonated so much with me. I pray we begin to take back our marriages from the enemy and be good stewards of what we are entrusted with.
I leave you today with a quote by CS Lewis “When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now”
