“Your Will be done Lord” is a common phrase we use during prayers. We plead for his will in our lives. One thing we later discover is his will is not necessarily what we want. It is too painful to accept when his Will does not align with ours, when his answer No, when he wants us to take the longer route, when he takes away the things we love the most.
My husband would often declare this when our son died. His prayers often echoed these words “Let your will be done Lord”. I refused to accept it at first that this could be his will for our lives. I kept thinking surely a loving Father would not allow us to live a life without our son, kept wondering what it was we did to deserve this. In those moments I felt the enemy capitalize on my pain by planting seeds of doubt in my mind. My husband would often tell me not to allow the enemy into my mind not to let him dictate my thoughts. I thank God for his grace for leading me to this passage in scripture 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”. This passage tells us that must come against any thought or argument that is inconsistent with God’s nature and commit our dark thoughts to God. I continued to declare this passage over my mind whenever the enemy would plant thoughts in my mind. I thank God that his strength is made perfect in our weakness.
In the midst of that season, we often got unsolicited remarks and advice from others alluding to curses, inefficient medical care, suggestions to seek forgiveness from anyone we may have wronged as this could have contributed to our son’s death. As you would imagine these remarks as well intentioned it may have been, were quite painful to hear as it only added to the blame, we had already assigned to ourselves as grieving parents. I would often have sat before the Lord with all these questions pleading for answers. Two months after our son’s death I was led to the passage about the man born blind in John 9:2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God's works might be revealed in him. I felt a wave of peace over me after reading this passage. It put to rest all my lingering questions. I finally understood that our son’s death had nothing to do with us but would be used by the Lord for his glory. This shifted my perspective about suffering I was encouraged that the Lord would use this trial for his glory, and I admit it is still painful, but it is equally an honour that he would use our lives for his glory.
We have seen over the past year and a half the magnificent hand of God in shaping our trial into a testimony and using us to steward our pain for his glory. Surrendering our will for his may never be easy but we know that he works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28) even the painful things. More often than not it is the valleys that he leads us through that produces fruit in us and prunes us of anything that will hinder our growth.
For anyone who may be going through a season of suffering right now do not let the enemy convince you that God has abandoned you, that you are being punished for something, stand firm on his word. He will use this season for his glory this will one day be your testimony. Our seasons do not change who God is.