Since losing our Son my husband and I have been constantly told how strong we were considering all that has happened. To be honest if left to our own human devices we would have gone down a very dark path. If it wasn’t for God being with us in that dark valley we would not have the strength that people claim we have. It is the love of God that has gotten us through every dark day since then.
The bible talks about peace that surpasses all understanding. I never really understood what this meant till I experienced myself. Its peace that is unexplainable. It is peace that does not make sense to others. Everyone expects you to be suffering but you are at peace. It is not the expected behavior of people who have lost their only child. I heard someone explain it as the type of peace that made Jesus sleep in the boat in the midst of a raging storm. I thank God that through this experience we can testify to the fact that there is nothing like his peace. It is the only thing that can comfort you, nothing in this world compares to it.
We do not claim to have been automatically been blessed with his peace and comfort. It was the constant pursuit of God and his word. There were and are days when pain seems unbearable and the sight of anything that belongs to our son breaks us. There are days when there is no end in sight especially for me and I cannot seem to see past the pain. In those moments I thank God for blessing me with a God fearing husband. Someone who continues to lead me into his presence, continues to remind me of his promises in his word, all this while struggling with grief himself.
I have made a conscious effort to ask God for help at times when I struggle with the pain. I have realized that I am unable to do it on my own as I am weak. In 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 reads “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness”. This passage gives me great comfort as I am told that God’s strength is made known in our weakness, in valleys of our lives, the times when we feel we cannot go any further. He meets us there in our moments of weakness and carries us through. We have been so blessed to bear witness first-hand of his strength in our moments of weakness.
I thank the Lord that even in the moments when it hurt and when nothing made sense we could still feel his love. We may have felt defeated but we were never abandoned, he was with us every step of the way. It was then that we learnt what true worship meant. Worshiping him from our valley, when we could not see what he was doing, when we were hurting, when we felt like hope was lost. True worship is not based on the outcome but rather on the character of a never changing God. He has been faithful to us all throughout our lives and just because we were in a valley right now did not mean his character had changed. He is still the same yesterday, today and forevermore.
I praise him for our valley for it has bought us closer to him, it has opened our eyes to what a faithful and sovereign Father he is. Even as the storms rages around you and your circumstances are making you sink, I hope you keep your eyes fixed on the person who calms the storm.
